i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
