i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
