Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
