I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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