he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
