I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
