Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This is my gift to your gina
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
