i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
