Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
