And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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