does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
