I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
