Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
