you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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