So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
