its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
