Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
