He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
