A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
