Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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