I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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