Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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