how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
