Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
