omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
accomplished twins. life is a go
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
