I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
