As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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