So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
