yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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