Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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