Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
