Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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