there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
