Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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