I accidentally burped into my bong.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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