Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
