Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
