I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he puts the penis in happiness.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
