Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
God I need to hump something, right now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
