ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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