I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
