You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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