is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is the high leading the old right now
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
