I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
