I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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