that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
