You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
