with your own penis?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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