You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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