Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
