He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
